Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

Here begins a mini-rant…

But it drives me batty when I hear people judging other people’s weddings.

“It drives me crazy when brides do (insert plethora of offenses here).” “Ohmygod, I can’t believe she served that at her reception!.” “Wow, who dressed that groom, what a slob!”

Pardon me, but who cares?

Yes, I realize I’m judging those that judge, but it just rubs me the wrong way when I hear people complain about weddings that are not their own.

And maybe this stems from my recognition that I am, by most people’s accounts, planning a wedding that will be (wait for it!) tacky.

Ariel at OffBeatBride already wrote the post on tacky, but I like to read it from time to time, just to remind me. (I also like need to reread this one often, and it’s also my mantra: my wedding is not a contest).

Dustin’s going to wear a suit instead of a tux, and we’re getting married outside just a few days before Thanksgiving. Tacky! Inappropriate! And I don’t give a donkey’s behind. Because it’s what we want. It’s what we’ll enjoy.

My mom is handling our wedding cake, and it’s going to be a total surprise to both of us, and she’s already said it’s not going to be a traditional wedding cake. And I can’t wait! Because yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a book on it somewhere, and it’s definitely going to turn out more like a groom’s cake than a wedding cake, but again, I can’t wait! It’s going to be fun. I love letting my mom surprise us like this, and I know she enjoys it, too.

We’re not having a reception. Instead, we’re eating dinner at a not-so-fancy restaurant, and other people will be eating their dinner right there beside us (probably wondering who’s thrown such a tacky wedding), and I’m in all probability going to get wasted on margaritas, but that’s half the fun. FOR US.

I realize that most people don’t want the kind of wedding we’re planning. And that’s wonderful! Go have your own wedding, that’s exactly what you want. Don’t do the things I’m doing! Or, steal all of my ideas, which I stole from someone else!

I’ve already been judged when I’ve told people about our wedding. It will happen in the future, and I’m sure people are sitting back now, shaking their heads in disapproval. Well, shake till your neck snaps off, ’cause I’m having the time of my life. We’re planning a wedding that feels right to us. We’re planning a wedding that we and our families can enjoy. We’re planning a wedding that will make us smile. And everyone should be so lucky.

Edited to say: I need this lesson as much as anyone else. I’m really, really good at judging people (not just weddings), and I shouldn’t be this way. Let’s work on it together.

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About AshleyGee

I'm a graduate instructor at a completely Southern (Football, Rush Week, and lots of "Hey Y'alls!") university. I teach freshman comp, study
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4 Responses to Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

  1. Sara says:

    I think this wedding is completely you and Dustin and is therefore perfect. I love that you’re doing what you want and to hell whatever anyone else thinks, although when I tell others about it, people think it is unique and wonderful. And honestly, it seems to have a romance about it that most large-scale, stressed-out shindigs are missing. I am so happy for both of you and can’t wait to see all the pictures. And let me know if I can do anything.

  2. Suzanne says:

    yeah! what she said! who are these people judging you?! drop kick ’em! chola style!

  3. Hear, hear! I don’t like when anybody judges people for their decisions full stop!

  4. Jim says:

    It’s your wedding. It’s not a show put on for other peoples amusement. It is not your job to entertain people. That’s as bad as being invited to someones house for dinner then complaining about the food. It’s simply rude.

    My wife and I had some unconventional elements to our wedding and we didn’t care what anyone else thought because we loved it. To the depths with anyone who tells you otherwise.

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