Registry Woes

The omniscient Martha says that we should begin our registry around the 6-month out mark, and since that’s coming up sooner than we think it is, I’ve been mulling over the registry issue.

When we first started planning, I really didn’t think we’d even create a registry. Why would we? There won’t even be 15 people at our wedding, and we don’t have an at-home reception in the works. And we’ve both been on our own for so long that we already have much of what we need. I mean, I even already own the crowning glory of most people’s registries, the much coveted, much adored, Kitchen Aid stand mixer:

Hello, gorgeous.

As the planning progressed, a few people mentioned that they wanted to be notified when we registered, so that they could send a little something our way. Maybe it shouldn’t have, but this caught me completely unprepared. Did they know we’re not having a normal wedding? Did they know I already have a KitchenAid? But then a few more people asked about our registry, and someone even offered to throw me a bridal shower (gasp!). I’m not sure why I thought people wouldn’t give us gifts. I’m grateful!

But this brings up the registry issue. Trust me, it feels *so weird* to ask for specific gifts. (Aside: Not sure why, though, because I have no problems telling people what I want when they ask any other day of the year). Maybe I read too much Emily Post, but a registry feels like I’m making the statement that gifts are somehow expected.

But at the same time, people love us, and some of them are going to want to get us a gift. And these people may be completely at a loss as to what we want or need, and will totally appreciate a registry for these reasons. And for other people’s weddings, I’m totally a registry person. I *love* when people register. When they don’t, or when I wait too long and all the good their stuff has already been bought, I have a mild panic attack.  Registries guarantee that I can give a couple a gift that they’ll actually want and use and maybe even love. You know, since they picked it out and all.

On the other hand, though, there’s a lot of drama that can come with registries. People talk when you register for way too much, or register for only top-of-the-line items when all of your guests are in the middle of an economic crisis (not that I’ve ever seen this happen, of course). It’s my fear that because we are having such a teeny-tiny wedding, people will look at our registry and think “What? They want a gift when I wasn’t even invited?” (To which I’d respond, please, please, please read the “For our extended families and friends” section of this post), when of course, this isn’t true. Our registry will only be there for people that genuinely want to give us a gift, and don’t know where to start.

We’re obviously going to be walking a fine line with this one. I think our best solution will be to do a couple of things: 1) set up a charity registry, so that guests can give to our favorite charities instead of Target. (Not sure why I’m labeling this a ‘solution,’ as it’s something I’ve wanted to do since the beginning.) And 2) Keep our registry small and simple. Very small. Very simple.

What kind of issues did you run into when setting up your registry?


About AshleyGee

I'm a graduate instructor at a completely Southern (Football, Rush Week, and lots of "Hey Y'alls!") university. I teach freshman comp, study
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2 Responses to Registry Woes

  1. Allison says:

    I know that when my friends got married, they were already living together and had all the essentials they needed. They went the alternate route: honeymoon registry. I’m pretty sure that their honeymoon in Paris was pretty much covered. I’m not sure what you’re doing for the honeymoon, but that might not be the worst idea either.

    As for the whole not getting invited but expecting a gift, there are plenty of people who want to get you something even though they’re not going I’m sure. (Hi!!! 🙂 )

  2. Teacher Clothes says:

    I love honeymoon registries! There are also “nest-egg” registries, where you can “donate” to a couple’s big projects (i.e.: $25 to laying hardwood floors instead of a toaster). I haven’t totally ruled this out, but our honeymoon is in Asheville, too, so that’s pretty much covered.

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